Durian Feast

In Geylang, Singapore where there is a row of durian stalls selling late into the night. And the pungent smell attracts the likes of Uncle Hua Min from many miles away. And so with Uncle Tart and Aunty Siew’s family we had a durian supper even after a huge Chinese New Year dinner.

It starts of with selecting the ‘right’ fruit. Inspecting it, feeling the texture of the spikes and the stem, tapping and sniffing. If you’re unsure, just pretend. The only proof is in the eating. And the way to do it, according to some, is with all ten fingers, your whole mouth and your heart and soul. Amen.

Durian, being the King of Fruit, is usually coupled with mangosteen, his Queen. The belief goes that since durian is very ‘heaty’, mangosteens eaten after is perfect for its ‘cooling’ properties. Balance of Yin with Yang. But actually, it is an excuse to eat some more when the durian runs out.

The other ritual that goes with eating durian is that washing one’s hands in the empty durian husk is thought to eliminate the smell from your grubby hands. Well really that is yet another excuse to mop up all the bits of durian.

And the final ritual of durian eating is the durian burp which involves a burping contest. Your burp has to be louder, more musical and have more oomph. Otherwise you will be smelling someone else’s. Note that being in a closed air-conditioned vehicle is near fatal.

Sitting next to a post-durian connoisseur on a trans-continental flight eclipses the worst air-turbulence you may have experienced. It comes out the top and bottom. Shoe-bombers have a lot to learn. Milton, for the sake of World Peace, please don’t repeat your torture of fellow passengers.